Not Born this Way...The Heart of the Matter


Health nut...gym rat...
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To tweak the words of Lady GaGa, I wasn’t born this way. We all had a pivotal day one...we all have a “why”...we all have a story...we all had to start somewhere. Although today, I’m a trainer, I wasn’t born in the gym with a dumbbell in my hand and my health was not always a priority. I had to make the decision to take charge of my health and wellness. More than once in my journey as a personal trainer, I have heard from clients that they sometimes have difficultly relating to trainers or nutritionists because in so many words, “we don’t get it”. Some have a misconception that working in the fitness industry means it’s somehow easier for us or that we’ve always been healthy. We are not “paid to be in shape”...yes, I’ve heard that. We are not superhuman. Like anyone else who has embarked on the journey of health/wellness/fitness, we too had to decide to begin and we have to work hard to continue on this path every single day. We also have to juggle busy lives with only so many hours in the day and still MAKE time to exercise and meal prep. We get it...we really do. While our personal reasons for starting our healthy lifestyle journeys and ultimately becoming part of the fitness industry are all different, we are united by a common passion...to help others make healthy lifestyle changes and to empower them to live their healthiest, happiest lives. How do we best do that though? By leading, by guiding, by example...and by connecting. This blog post for me is all about connecting...it is my hope to relate...to show that I care...to reflect that I get it.

Connecting...relating...what does this mean? I spent time thinking about this. I define connecting as the ability to identify with people and relate to them in such a way that it increases our influence with them. How can we positively influence others if they feel a disconnect? Although hearing client feedback of “trainers and nutritionists not getting it” initially stings, I’m actually thankful they were honest enough to give that feedback because it prompted me to think heavily about this topic. Leadership...how can we be better leaders to those we hope to serve in our best capacity? I think communicating with others in a meaningful way is key. Good communication is all about connecting. We can’t effectively lead if we can’t connect and we can’t connect if we can’t effectively communicate. A friend of mine and well respected local personal trainer, Katie St. Clair, wrote an excellent blog on connecting with clients. If you’re a trainer, please give it a read  CLICK HERE 

I do feel that we can lead better when we relate better and while I try to keep things on a professional level and less personal regarding myself, sometimes it’s appropriate to make a more personal connection, so I’m sharing my story here in an effort to better connect and relate with those I hope to help on their healthy lifestyle journey. Sharing connects us with others and can serve to encourage and inspire us to action in our lives. I love this quote: “When we share our stories, what it does is, it opens up our hearts for other people to share their stories. And it gives us the sense that we are not alone on this journey.”
Janine Shepherd

I want people to know that I do get it...I’ve been to “that place”.

This is a powerful quote:
“You don’t lead by pointing and telling people some place to go. You lead by going to that place and making a case.” – Ken Kesey

“That place” is different for each of us, but I’ve been there and now I’m here to make a case.

My story...I’ve shared so many times, and I will share a million more times if it helps even just one more person.

There are those pivotal moments in life that are forever marked by a “before this” and “after this” in which everything before this moment and after this moment will forever be different. That moment for me was the unexpected death of my mother and best friend, Robin Seay, in November of 2007. She was 47 and I was 28. She suffered her first heart attack and after all life saving attempts, it was fatal. The entire following year left me reeling in grief which included anxiety attacks. On the outside, I functioned, but on the inside was just an immensely deep feeling of loss...loss as in emptiness...loss as in no control...loss as in no stability. I went to an incredible counselor who talked me through my grief and then referred me to a preventive cardiologist based upon my extensive family history of heart disease. My exercise journey truly began there. Exercise became a healthy outlet for managing my grief and anxiety. After a few months of regular exercise, my anxiety attacks vanished. Prior to this, exercise was an “off and on” affair. My weight had spiked during college and post college, I had managed to get it back down, but my dietary habits were mostly poor and my exercise was inconsistent and sometimes non-existent. Considering my family history, it became apparent that I MUST make a change in my nutritional and exercise habits. Since I work in a genetics lab, I will phrase it this way: in my case, genetics loaded the gun, but my lifestyle determines if the trigger is pulled. Even with an extensive family history of heart disease, stroke and diabetes, WE have control over our lifestyle risk factors. Our genetics are not necessarily our fate. Prevention is largely up to us. Although heart disease is the leading cause of death among Americans, it doesn't have to be. It is estimated that 80% of cardiac events can be prevented with education and lifestyle changes. The power to change these statistics is in our own hands. We don't always get a second chance...mom didn't...but what we do have is NOW. With awareness and knowledge, we have our second chance, right here, right now. The keys are to be proactive and preventive.

I was 28 at the time of my mom’s death and nearly 30 by the time I feel that I emerged from my grief enough to realize I had to take hold of myself and my health. 30 years young is the age at which physical inactivity starts to play the largest role in a woman's risk of developing heart disease, according to Australian researchers. From age 31 on, not moving enough raises the risk of heart disease more than smoking, being overweight, or having high blood pressure. (Source: BRITISH JOURNAL OF SPORTS MEDICINE, May 2014)

I can personally attest to the disheartening truth of this study. The severe blockages that led to my mother's premature death at age 47 after suffering her first heart attack most likely began in her 30's, according to her surgeon. Many of us in our "younger" years aren't thinking of chronic disease prevention. We think we have time. I thought I had time. Prior to my mom’s death, being concerned about heart health was not on my radar: I ate what I wanted...drank what I wanted...exercised if it was convenient and didn’t if it wasn’t.

My mom saved my life. She is the reason I’m where I am today. What would be sadder than her death would be for her death to have been in vain. I figured that the best way to honor her and not allow her death to be in vain would be by living my healthiest possible life and by helping others to do the same. In the years following her death, there was an evolution...an emergence from the lowest of lows to being healthier and stronger than I’ve ever been. It is true that we grow stronger in the broken places. Exercise became part of my life when I joined the MUSC Wellness Center and fell in love with group exercise classes. I took up running regular 5K’s and eventually started a 5K in memory of my mom to raise heart disease awareness. A few years later, I summoned up the courage to begin weight lifting in the “man cave” at the gym and I fell in love with the iron. This evolved into bodybuilding competitively for a few years. Now, I am trying a new venture in powerlifting. For me though, whether I’m training for sport or just training for life, it’s about having fun, staying healthy and being stronger than yesterday. My ultimate passion though is in serving as a trainer at the MUSC Wellness Center. I truly feel that it’s my calling. I feel that all paths led me here today, so for that, I am thankful. When I look at my clients, I see mothers, sisters, daughters, fathers, brothers, sons and friends...I want them to be able to live their longest, healthiest, happiest lives alongside those they love.

In closing, please remember that health and fitness go deeper than the mirror. Do not judge a book by its cover. That muscular trainer or lean athlete was not born that way...they worked to get there and they may have built and forged their way through pain and challenges unknown to anyone else. They may be able to relate to your struggles and challenges because they’ve encountered their own. Also, in setting your goals, remember that health goes beyond the scale. It’s about being healthier from the INSIDE out. My personal story reflects the importance of prioritizing your health from an internal aspect. Take care of your internal health by making healthy nutritional choices, exercising regularly, and getting regular medical checkups, including blood work. If you take care of your internal health, it eventually will reflect on the outside too. Look beyond the mirror.

This is my story...this is my why.

In loving memory of my mom and best friend...I hope to serve, inspire and encourage others to live fully, to live well and to live healthily. To adapt a quote from Abraham Lincoln: All that I am, all that I hope to be, all that I do...I owe to my angel mother.

February is national heart month. Make this month, the month you see your doctor for a heart health check up including blood work to check cholesterol, triglycerides and glucose levels.

Achieve Balance by Learning to Focus & Setting Boundaries


This article is written for the participants of the Healthy Charleston Challenge program (a 12 week exercise, nutrition and behavior modification program at the Medical University of South Carolina), but it can apply to everyone. This program and living a healthy lifestyle go beyond nutrition and exercise...it’s about true behavior change...it’s about addressing the mind, our behaviors and our habits. I want to address the topic of BALANCE...achieving personal goals while striking a life balance...what does balance mean to you? Is it even possible? I often promote striving for balance because that’s a key to lifestyle change sustainability, but I think it’s sometimes misconstrued as an excuse to “have your cake and eat it too”. It’s not ordering pizza and going to happy hour 3-4 nights a week and then eating healthy and hitting the gym the other 3-4 nights a week. If health, fitness and wellness are your goals, then that’s not balance...that’s spinning your wheels. Speaking of wheels, that will be an analogy throughout this article and I’ll be referring to a model known as “the wheel of life”. More on that later.

Firstly though, let me start off by saying, I’m not an expert in any of this...I’m not a certified life coach...I’m not perfect at any of this. This is something I have to work at EVERY SINGLE DAY. Being in the fitness industry doesn’t make me superhuman. I’m perfectly imperfect but striving to do my best...progress is what we’re after. Lifestyle change is not an overnight process...it’s a daily process in the constant making that takes constant effort and work. And...you must WANT it.

To achieve any goal, focus is required. Balance? Single minded focus? Is one approach better than the other? Does it have to be one or the other? I think it’s both. Both are necessary, so I think we need to find a balanced approach between balanced living and focused living.

Balanced living comes at a cost and single minded focus living comes at a cost as well. Balance is in the process, but it’s not the goal. Single minded focus is what gets the job done. Single-mindedness can be an important skill. There are times where we need to be able to focus and put certain things on the forefront. For my Healthy Charleston Challenge participants, the 12 weeks of the program are absolutely a time of single minded focus. I believe in taking time for total immersion in order to build habits and restructure behavior. This is not a time to figure out how you can make group workouts jive with your party schedule. Yeah, but what about balance? First, let me be bluntly clear: balance doesn't mean half-paced, half-hearted or half-assed. Personal development speaker, Jim Rohn, said, "All disciplines affect each other. Every new discipline affects all of our other disciplines. Every new discipline that we impose on ourselves will affect the rest of our personal performance in a positive way."
Unfortunately, this also works the other way around. Every lack of discipline (or bad habit essentially) affects the rest of your habits and disciplines and will alter your performance in a negative way.
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Balance recognizes that life is a zero-sum game in so many ways, and this is a fact that very few want to face. We want to believe we can have our cake and eat it too. We’ve got to have focus and we’ve got to include boundaries.

Back to the Wheel of Life: The idea of the Wheel of Life is that every key part of our life is important, and when one area is out of harmony or out of balance, it puts a strain on the other areas. Refer to the graphic at the top of this post.

Nutrition, Friends and Family, Emotional Life, Work, Exercise, Medical Care, and Faith Life might all be key components of our life wheel. How do we balance them all?

All of those elements are important. If you ignore one, the whole wheel goes out of balance. If you overemphasize one, the whole wheel goes out of balance. If you touch one part of a wheel, the whole wheel moves, responds, and readjusts. How do we balance it all? Balance can be elusive and difficult to attain, so as I mentioned earlier, there’s another key word we need to address: BOUNDARIES

Creating boundaries are part of balance. Life can throw us curve balls making balance difficult, but setting boundaries puts you in the driver’s seat.

SUCCESS KEY 1: Set DAILY boundaries based on your PRIORITIES. So first, establish your priorities. What are your priorities? What are your obligations? What boundaries can you set for the day based upon those? Example: If making healthy lifestyle changes via exercise and nutrition are a priority, then you will need to set boundaries accordingly. Boundaries may include: the amount of time you’re willing to put into a work day. Example: I will leave work at 5 everyday in order to make time for my exercise class. We are obligated to work/study/attend school, whatever the case may be, so we must fulfill our obligations, but we do so within established boundaries which allows us to remain balanced with our priorities/goals. Career/work are one of the most challenging areas of life balance. Setting boundaries are critical. My mother will sadly serve as an example more than once in this article, but if she were here to speak, then I know she’d echo my words. Leave work at work. The work will still be there tomorrow. Work to live. Do not live to work. We take pride in our work, and we work hard while we’re at work, but there is a point in the day when the work is done whether it’s finished or not. We must set boundaries. My mom worked the job of 3 people at a stressful job for many years. She consistently worked long days and she even worked when she was sick. She literally did not have time to take care of herself. If you do not have time to take care of yourself, rather if you are not creating time...and you’re constantly missing your workout time because of overtime, then you absolutely need to create boundaries NOW. Your health depends upon it.

SUCCESS KEY 2: You must also establish boundaries with PEOPLE. Let people know what you’re up to. Family and friends would probably love to hear your new goals and should be supportive. If they’re not supportive, reconsider your social circle. Boundaries might mean: I can’t meet up for happy hour as often as I used to, but let’s choose a special day each week for a friend date. Since we are focusing on the priority/goal of health/wellness/fitness, social boundaries might also mean activity boundaries: meaning, choosing social activities that do not sabotage your goals but allow you to still spend quality time with friends and family. We’ve all heard the saying, “if you can’t beat ‘em, then join ‘em.” Well, let’s work that to our advantage...invite your friends to join you at your workouts or for a healthy activity. I think creating balance in the FRIENDS/FAMILY category can be extra challenging, especially when your priorities/goals include remodeling your lifestyle to be healthier. It’s almost as if social functions and activities surrounding food or alcohol come out of the wood works as soon as you decide you’re embarking on a fitness/healthy nutrition journey. Remember, it’s okay to say NO, but you don’t have to become a hermit...you just have to set boundaries. Just because someone brings donuts to the office to celebrate a coworker’s birthday does not mean you have to eat them to be polite. Attend, sing happy birthday and skip the donuts. If an out of town friend drops in unexpectedly in the middle of your brand new journey into healthier living, then enjoy their company while honoring your established priorities and boundaries. Example: Honor life balance and the importance of time with friends/family by setting a date night to go to dinner together, but honor your own personal goals by making the healthiest choices you can on the menu and setting boundaries that you will skip dessert and limit yourself to one glass of wine. Again, balance is achieved with boundaries. You did not have to sacrifice time with your family/friends, but you also did not have to sacrifice your goals. Another very important area of setting boundaries in the family/friends category is in care taking. I see this so often with women. Women are care takers by nature and will take care of everyone else at the expense of themselves. This happened to my mother. She was only 47 when she passed away due to a heart attack. She had literally sacrificed making her own health and wellness a priority to be there for everyone else. IMPORTANT STATEMENT—LET THIS SOAK IN: You cannot be there for others if you are not FIRST there for yourself. YOU need to become a priority in your life. This is NOT selfish. Take care of yourself by taking care of your health. Fitness/Nutrition/Wellness need to all become as much of a priority as hygiene...you wouldn’t skip brushing your teeth or showering, right?

SUCCESS KEY 3: You won’t be perfect. Failing sometimes helps us better learn our boundaries and as a result, we can redefine them as needed so we can draw clearer lines in the future. It’s a process...a daily process...a never ending process...a growth process.

So in conclusion, it’s not only about the word balance. It’s a recipe of single minded focus, boundaries, and balance. We must FOCUS on our priorities/goals, we must set BOUNDARIES according to those established priorities/goals and we will achieve more BALANCE in doing so. WE MUST DO THIS DAILY.

Today, take some time to reflect on all of this.

1. Write down all of your MAIN PRIORITIES/GOALS. Example as it applies to this article: achieve a healthy body weight and improve my health. Be as specific as you wish: improve my cholesterol levels; get off of blood pressure medication; manage my blood glucose levels with a better diet and exercise.
2. Write down the daily actions you must take to achieve them. Example: (specific actions)—attend 6pm group workout 3 days per week and a cardio class 2 days per week. Name the specific days you’ll workout and write them in your schedule like appointments. Food log daily. Meal prep ahead of time.
3. Write down the boundaries you must set each day to achieve them. Examples: I will see my daily workouts as important appointments and will leave work at 5pm daily to make my workouts. I will not skip workouts for happy hour and will save social time for my established date night with friends. I will make the best nutrition choices possible while out with family and friends. If I choose to drink, then I will limit alcohol intake to prioritize my health. I will grocery shop for healthy foods on Saturday and meal prep for the week on Sunday.

You get the idea...start a journal, draw out your own life wheel. Establish how satisfied you are in each major spoke of your life wheel. For the areas you’re less satisfied, identify your goals for that area, your needed actions to improve it, and the necessary boundaries to improve that area of your life wheel.

I hope this article got the wheels turning and helps you on your journey to living your healthiest, happiest life.

Equipment Free Workout

This upper body/abdominal circuit is a great workout for targeting your core, chest, back, triceps, and shoulders. If you are strapped for time, this workout will target a majority of the upper body with no equipment needed while still building muscle. This can be performed indoors or outdoors.

The cornerstone of this routine, which consist of mostly familiar moves, is the hand-to-thigh plank. This exercise is performed by positioning your hands and feet at shoulder width apart, arms at full extension, just as you would in the top of a push-up. While keeping your body straight and core tight, you will bring one arm at a time in to slap your same-side thigh. Alternate hand slaps on each side being careful not to sway or drop your hips. If this is too challenging, then hold plank.

Tricep push-ups have a more narrow hand placement as compared to standard push ups. Hands are in line with shoulders and elbows track near the body.

THE WORKOUT

Exercise: Reps:

Push-Up 20

Crunch 20

Toe Tap Plank 10

Toe Touch crunches 20

Triceps Push-Up 20

Bicycle Crunch 20

Bonus: Burpees 10

--Repeat entire circuit five times.

--No rest between exercises. Rest 1-2 minutes between circuits.